


i know

by kenzily



Category: Original Work
Genre: Depression, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Mental Breakdown, References to Depression, Self-Harm, can you tell ive been crying, feelings are fatal, i wanna die pt 2
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-25
Updated: 2021-02-25
Packaged: 2021-03-16 08:47:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 271
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29698011
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kenzily/pseuds/kenzily
Summary: why am i so unlovable ?...now, standing in the mirror, lap bloodied and tears running down my face, i know why.





	i know

**Author's Note:**

> had 30 minutes to spare after my scheduled breakdown so i wrote a shitty oneshot ab my pathetic feelings :D

why am i so unlovable?

the visceral fear of never being wanted, never being loved, never being enough. many people must wonder why one would carry these thoughts around them after repeatedly being told the opposite. 

emotional baggage doesn’t tend to present itself rationally. 

the suitcase collects dust in the closet and sits there, staring back at you, until it consumes all your thoughts. but every emotion stems from somewhere, an old place you might’ve forgotten in your memories. it’s been a while since you’ve been there, but you will always carry the memories of what you’ve done and where you’ve been. 

what you’ve done. 

what i’ve done.

i hide behind soft smiles, ashamed of everything i’ve done. pushed people away, surrendered to mental health, let body image consume my life, created problems for others, failed. 

in the cold of the night and the whirring of the air conditioning, i pray for it all to end. i pray to the higher gods i don’t believe exist and i dream of realities that will never come true. 

i drag people down with me. sirens sing to their victims, luring them down to their eventual death by drowning. i’m not so different. putting on a fake mask of forced jubilee, happy texts, loud laughter, pulling people to where they can no longer leave, trapped in a web of my problems. 

i’m not sure if i can ever be forgiven for the burden i’ve placed on others. i don’t think i’ll ever forgive myself. my thoughts circle back. 

now, standing in the mirror, lap bloodied and tears running down my face, i know why.

**Author's Note:**

> gbye lol


End file.
